I've always felt that I didn't belong

Longing for people that will understand and won't do me wrong

But that's all I've ever found in the crowd

Blurred faces in tight spaces

They're all I see now.

 

I am scared of socializing

Past experiences left me doubting

I am afraid of the change of heart

The change of what it will look like after the start

This fear in me subliminally isolating me

I'd most rather be around my family.

 

There are thoughts on my mind I leave unsaid

Believing there's no point to them so instead

I sit in silence with most of the talking in my head

I think about the people I appreciate

They don't know that they have done something great

They make an impact on my life and brighten my day

Even if it's small it is something that stays.

 

When will I find my place

When will I find my way

It seems the ache gets deeper day by day

And when I am alone I think of scenes

Of my life before I turned eighteen

Reenacting them to be altered

To have gone the way I wished before they faltered

I try to escape my reality

But I know I have to see

That it went the way it did for a reason

That things will always change like the seasons

And I will find where I belong.