I used to think that falling in love

Meant whirwinds

And fireworks

And the occasional hiccup that was quickly followed

By the most heartfelt apology

And a lifetime of happiness.

 

I used to think that falling in love

Was the closest thing to pure ecstacy,

The epitome of bliss.

And even when there were pangs of anything but joy

There was nothing better than their smile

And knowing they would always be yours.

 

I used to think that falling in love 

Was a simple act

Almost accidental in nature

When two people just happen to stumble into

The greatest years of their lives.

And rain or shine, it was a happy accident.

 

I used to think that falling in love

Answered all of life's questions

Even the one's your mom was unsure of

Even the one's you wanted to be left unanswered.

And that new wisdom brought you clarity

Enough to know your heart and all its desires.

 

I used to think that falling in love

Was happiness.

But it hurts.

And there are days when you look at their face

And want nothing more than to scream at the world

Because why did you have to pick this person?

Why did you spend years waiting for an apology

And even when you never received it

Why do you still love them anyway?

And why do you have so many questions

About something that was supposed to be so simple?

And W H Y

Even when you know

You will never be the one they choose

Do you hold them in your heart

As the one you will fall in love with

Every day

For the rest of your life?

 

I know now that falling in love

Is a choice.

It is blinding.

It is heartbreaking.

It is terrifying.

And it is anything but simple.

 

I used to think that falling in love 

Was all I could ever want in life.

 

I know I was right.