When she tells me it's hard to stay alive

I shiver.

She's never in a particularly good mood

because the depression can be intense

she doesn't like to go to busy places

loud noises and crowds scare her

reminds her of the screaming in her head

too much, too loud

and I don't understand it.

She tells me there are up days 

and down days

and there are days when she doesn't feel a thing

she is numb and doesn't know how to feel again.

She tells me there is fire in the corner

someone is in her room

there is a raven at her window

I wonder if it's the medicine or

maybe she realy is schizophrenic

mental illness is the least understood issue

and also the one that gets the least attention.

Nobody cares if someone's just 

"a little sad"

or can't clear the static from their ears

nobody cares.

Half the people who are supposed to help are in it for the money.

I would change that.

If I could be in charge of those people

who are supposed to care

I could make them care.

I could create a standard.

I could change my life 

and the lives of others.

My job would be having a protecting

understanding

serving a purpose.