Everyday, I show them my best smile

And I put on my bubbly face

I only portray my illusioned lifestyle

Filled with humor, kindness and grace

 

I am not hiding my background

I am just hiding me

My true feelings can be found

At the bottom of the deep blue sea

 

To start off, my family is just an image

Where only surface discussions are allowed

The cold between us reminds me of a fridge

While the love reminds me of a cloud

 

My family is very concerned with looks

And always wants me to spend money on fashion

But our bank account looks like we've been robbed by crooks

So I say "I don't want clothes, I'm certain"

 

Although I don't love my appearance

With my big stomach and thighs

I learned to accept all of my existence

Even my small uneven eyes

 

I wish my family could see that

And not just my figure

They should know that I'm not constantly worried about my fat

I'm worried about my future

 

I feel like everyone else is growing up

Living life and falling in love

While I'm behind playing catchup

With no one to give me a little shove

 

I am a great actor

Making people believe my lies

But sometimes I want to peel back my amor

And let the real me see the sunshine

 

I know that no one is perfect

And that I should let people in

But I don't want to drag people into my conflicts

Because then no one would win

 

Thus, I've hid for so long

To avoid their pity

The isolation has made me strong

Strong but lonely

 

I know who I am

And I know who I need to be

And that doesn't include being a hologram

Being see through and empty

 

So there is never going to be that one

The one that I can tell everything to

If I say too much, they'll start to run

Run so far till I'm just someone they once knew

 

Everyday, I show them my best smile

And I put on my bubbly face

I only portray my illusioned lifestyle

Filled with humor, kindness and grace