By first grade I knew

I wanted to be "vadelicktorian"

Hardly into the schoolyard.

Now here I am

Struggling

They didn't say it would be so hard.

 

In second grade

I was ambitious

Reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

I had nightmares for six months

Snakes in the vents

They didn't say it would be scary.

 

In third grade

I sat between a smelly child

And a kid who picked his nose

My seat didn't change for three months

I celebrated when it did

They didn't say it would be gross.

 

In fourth grade

My granddad died

And I saw my dad cry

The ashes changed the sea

Into a million different colors

They didn't say it would be beautifully tragic.

 

In fifth grade

My friend moved across the country

On the last day of school

I was the only one who didn't cry in class

I sobbed at home for days

They didn't say we wouldn't stick together.

 

In sixth grade

My grandmother made passing comments on my pimpled face

And I thought I was ugly

I turned inward

People began to walk over me

They didn't say my family wouldn't be there for me.

 

In seventh grade 

I fell in love with math

I was labeled as the outcast

My friend circle shrunk

I wasn't accepted

They didn't say I would be bullied for my interests.

 

In eighth grade

I found out I had a heart condition

When I fainted in P.E.

Now I had to worry about life and death

but all that mattered was social acceptance.

They didn't say I would be deserted.

 

In ninth grade

I was depressed

I ate lunch alone

In my math teacher's classroom

I needed a way out

They didn't say it would be the end of the world.

 

In tenth grade

I went to a new school

Where I had to make completely new friends

And I did

And I found a family

They didn't say it would be this easy to start over.

 

In eleventh grade

I had three best friends

I was in too many activities to count on both hands

I was stretched too thin

And I snapped

They didn't say I could lose everything

 

Back to school,

My final year.

I won't be "vadelicktorian"

But that's okay

Winsome losesome

They didn't say I had to be the best.