It wasn't love

when I was so overtaken by my depression

that I couldn't hear

the caring words 

they were trying to say.

But it wasn't love

when they tried to drown out my mental illness, 

like it wasn't actually there 

because it was inconvenient 

and in the way.

And it wasn't love

when I felt panicked 

every time they texted

and it wasn't love

when we screamed at each other. 

Love doesn't look like 

the empty wine bottle 

I drank 

to push away my lonliness 

 

It wasn't love

when he took off my clothes

while I was drunk

 

Love isn't in secrecy or abuse or misuse.

 

Love is different.

Love is accepting.

-and it is proud

KF