Darkness, surreal, creeping up inside me,
How do I fight this, this monster that is me?
I long to be good, to be free, to be anything
that is not what I am.

Oh to be good. All the riches in the world
cannot buy this for me. I cannot be good.
Sin lives within me. How can I control that,
That is not what I am?

I see what I could be, I reach for it,
Fall short every time. What is the definition
of good anyway? How do I know
that is not what I am?

Only God can judge me right?
Wrong because I judge me. I see
My heart and soul. I know good.
That is not what I am.

I want to change, to grow, to know.
Help is what I seek. But who should help
a soul like me? I would not even help myself.
That is not what I am.

For there is no hope for some one
Like me. I am too far gone. No good shall
Ever become of me, not ever, for
That is not what I am.