I am a child.

Do I matter?

Does anybody see me?

I try to be noticed.

I try to stay sane.

But I can’t shake this feeling.

Every time I smile,

I feel like I am drowning.

It’s not real.

There is no excuse for

for any neglect.

Yet I need my shield.

Where is the love I hear about?

I see it all around me.

At least I think I do.

I’ve never felt it before.

What is love?

People talk about it all the time.

A child deserves to be loved.

I deserve to be loved.

Am I supposed to feel this way?

What do I do about this?

I walk alone wherever I go.

I see people smiling,

Hugging,

Showing affection.

I hear people giggling,

Laughing.

I am afraid to speak.

Will they judge me?

I am afraid to be someone.

Will they reject me?

I’m just a little kid.

A little kid in a big world.

I am just like that little kid.

And those little kids.

I’m a child with thoughts.

A child with feelings.

A child who wanders alone.

I could do anything

If only I believed.

But it’s hard to believe

When you’ve never

Had anything

To really believe in.

I could walk

A thousand miles

Only to end up

Nowhere.

There’s only so much pain

A kid like me can take.

I do not understand why I cannot

Be like every other child.

Was I supposed to be this way?

Was I supposed to be like the night sky?

Dark and mysterious

But beautiful if anyone is willing to

PAY ATTENTION.

I wander alone on the outside

And within myself.

I don’t want to be like this.

I want to be happy.

I want to smile.

I want to be a good kid.

I’m really not bad.

I’m a child

Who wanders alone.

But I don’t want

To wander

Forever.