A wallflower, without a word,

A man, without security,

A look of sullen passivity, and yet,

Never a look is given return.

 

Sadness is met with hate,

No one wants sadness in their lives

Especially not the sadness of one who is sad without cause,

Sad because the world is frightening and cold.

 

Sadness is cold incarnate,

Fear is the ice that seals these lips,

I cannot find the words to describe

That “I just feel sad all the time”

 

There is no reason,

Wish there was, there never was,

That way it would make a little more sense,

But the sadness remains and the answers are just as far as they always are.

 

Black hatred fills my heart,

Why can’t I find another way besides my art

To describe the pit of loneliness and dark,

Will I always be my own worst part?

 

Please forgive me,

I never meant to down the mood,

Let me be, let me sit,

Watching others reap the benefits.

 

I’ll just be sitting here

Waiting for my chance to shine

Hoping, praying, line by line,

I won’t be lonely for all time.

 

One day, I will find that one

That can free my wailing heart from the prison of my mind

Overthought thoughts are the bars that trap me here

Fear that failure will lead me deeper than I already dare have gone.

 

My mouth stays shut,

My heart stays silent,

Punching walls to avoid causing violence

Because I want to destroy those thoughts that would destroy me through and through.

 

 

Thoughts are not real,

So the wall must do,

Leaving knuckles bloody and battered and bruised

I am my own worst enemy, and there is no way to win.

 

Some call it sin,

Others say escape,

Ending it all is not a choice I’m willing to make

For that road brings nothing but more dark.

 

No heaven,

No hell,

Just my own thoughts

About Life’s indistinguishable doubts.

 

I can’t give up,

No not yet

Because a heart can never forget

That joy from finding another heart too

That is just as bloody and battered and bruised.

 

You.