I am working.

I am sobbing.

I am laughing.

I am struggling.

I am succeeding.

I am shrinking.

I am growing.

The common denominator among everything though, is that I am waiting.

I am shining my light into the vast darkness of the unknown.

My light doesn't need to be abundant.

Even the smallest light is better than the greatest darkness.

It excites me.

It terrifies me.

It creates the steros of anxiety in my head turn up to eleven.

It makes me grounded because I realize there is nothing I can do but wait.

I am someone who is driven by their emotions.

I am finding that balance between my head and my heart.

I want to fall in love.

But I want to be ready.

I have no issue with loving.

I have an issue with letting too many people in.

 

I set boundaries because I can fall in love with her again in an instant.

 

I let her go because she was outgrowing me.

 

I cried because I put so many years into the potential with him.

 

I left because of my own issues but he also didn't help the given situation.

 

I broke up with him because he and I are too alike.

 

So I am waiting.

I am growing.

I am becoming more me than I have ever been.

And I'm doing it for me.

I'm doing it for us.

I'm doing it for you.

Wherever you are, although we haven't met, I want you to know I am bettering myself for you.

I will love you more than the leaves that fall from their mothers.

I will love you more than the space between the galaxies in the sky.

I will love you more than I will ever be able to express.

But for now, I am growing.

For now, I am waiting.