My gender

is between my ears.

It is not

between my legs.

It is not defined

by biology or by my blood,

it is defined by identity

and by knowing

that I am not the young lady

you thought I would turn out to be.

 

My gender

is the person I want to go to bed as,

not the person I want to go to bed with.

It is not determined by my desire

to hold a woman.

It is determined by understanding

that while my body

may tell you otherwise

I am not a woman myself.

 

My gender

is the way I see myself

not the way the world sees my appearance.

It is not the skirt

that hangs in my closet,

nor the bowtie

I wore to synagogue last week.

It is the choice to shorten my name

to an androgynous "Em"

so that whether I am Emma

or I am Emmett

in that moment I am only me. 

 

My gender 

is a spectrum

not a rigid binary. 

I am not my mother's daughter

but I am also not her son. 

I am not one who can simply

"act like a lady"

or "fight like a man",

I am a person

whose identity is as complex

as as quantum physics

and whose life 

is a daily struggle to be understood.

 

Because my gender 

is other,

but my gender

is also valid.