This urge

I have to fight it

I have to be strong; I cannot give in

I need to prove to myself

That I can resist

That I am strong

I cannot think about this urge

Unless I channel it somehow

I don’t like this urge

It makes me feel sick and frustrated

Is this addiction?

I don’t want to be addicted!!!

I need control!

I don’t want to be out of control

Just for tonight

Let me be strong enough

It will get easier, it has to!

I can handle it…