That upbringing of a young girl
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When I was born, everyone especially my father were in awe
With the smallest action of a shrieking cry
It was my first action of strength, of power, of life
When I was younger I was told to do everything with blood, sweat, and tears because in the end it would be all worth it
Cliche isn’t it?
But in all honesty that was the only way I learned how to be just like my dad
My father, who has always recited to me the words that I knew I had to fulfill
“Necesitas que ser una niña fuerte y valiosa. Nunca depender de nadie"
The more I thought about it the more I knew that I had to make him proud
And so I recite to myself
“You need to be a strong and valuable child. Never depend on anyone "
The first value I ever learned was how to protect my family
At first I thought it meant to defend with balled fist
Which soon enough lead me into the principle’s office in the second grade after I had defended you against the stupid kid that thought he knew my life
Well he thought, thought too little actually
He said, “Your dad seems to always be so busy, does he even care about you?”
With the blood that rushed through my veins
I became hot
Hot to the point where my cheeks puffed up and I was ready to take upon anyone
But then I realized that after that blow, he wasn’t worth my time
He didn’t know you the way I do
He didn’t know that when I was 5 years old I was taken away from the feeling of home
The feeling of your embrace that smelled like the tiredness of an everyday
That I was lucky enough to bring you back with me
And I just pray to god that a raid in our house does not happen again
That the flashing lights and men with shiny superiority strip my home away again
The most important value that I learned was when
I walked up to the rusty mirror and looked at the image of a young girl,
and she appeared too innocent to understand
Because she was too accustomed to the way her father flung her into the air
as if she was a little doll
China perfect and careless about the world
I am the type of girl to love the sound of rain
It reminds me of the oak tree that danced with dewdrops
The same tree that you guided me towards, protectively and strong
you claimed that you needed no cover and only held onto the palm of my hand
I wish I had never let go of that hand
The one I knew that was 3 times as big
I know because I spent minutes on a daily claiming I was growing
and when I would place my hand against his it was still smaller
No matter what anyone might say, I have always thought of you as my prime exampleMy whole life, you were my north star to my safe haven
But in the daylight I had to learn my own way through
When you are young you tend to fall down and start to cry.
Some parents tend to run over towards you and pick you up.
Others tend to watch and wait for you to get up on your own
When people look at me they all see the young girl
the one that always has a smile on her face
the girl that sometimes talks too loudly
and you always seem to hear her ridiculous laugh from miles away,
which is something I don't want to under state,
and she never really cared that she was all out there
She doesn’t care because all that really matters is the words that her father told her
and as I take a deep breath in I exhale another sense of power
“I am a strong and valuable child. And I will never depend on anyone”