They're telling me to do it again

God damn it! I don't want to die!

I saw bullets rip them apart;

No one's safe on the battle field.  

 

A corpse is just part of the wall

Something to shield us from their fire.  

I can't remember being warm

Except when I'm covered in red.  

 

I see sun but I can't feel it.

Too busy with staying alive,

Concentrating on my trigger,

And on killing my enemy.  

 

I am part of the war machine;

Perfect at following orders.  

But, sometimes I can't help the tears.  

God Damn it I'm still so afraid!

 

I never said that I loved her,

I  didn't get to kiss Mom goodbye,

I didn't get to start college,

But I'm fighting for my country…  

 

I feel like that should be enough

But my teeth won't stop chattering

And the cold won't leave from my bones.  

There's a deep soreness in my heart.

 

Because I know I want to live;

Just like every other soldier.

But we know the reality.

Most of us are dad men walking.  

 

They said we'd be heroes back home

But they forgot to mention

How we would be killed in action.  

Just to become part of the wall.  

 

Sure, our families will be so proud,

That we died fighting for justice.

But that's just the point we'll be dead

No parent would want to hear that…  

 

I've grown numb to sounds of shooting,

The everyday loss of comrades,

And the impossible orders

That have no hope of succeeding.  

 

My heart is sore, but made of steel

Deep inside I know I'm afraid.

But I'm determined to get out

Of this unforgiving hellhole.  

 

I've just reached the top of the trench

The tension is making me cry

As I wait for my curtain call.  

I hear the click of the trigger;

 

I'm trapped by the enemies' eyes.

I see fear etched in their pupils

Regret for something left undone.

They are just following orders.

 

I bet I killed one of their friends;

Someone loved by their family

Who's body won't be recognized

Covered with all that fear and blood.  

 

I feel the bullet hitting me

And see the world darken and fade

As I slide down into the mud.  

At least since I'm on the outside

 

They can't use my corpse for the wall.  

I'll die here somewhat like a man.

Not constantly stepped on by friends

Or used as a shield for bullets.  

 

I'm like every other soldier

I am bound to the battle field

But I am getting out of here

But not with cries of victory.  

 

Instead it's funeral music.

The familiar sound of gun fire,

Joined by sounds of bombs exploding,

And the sound of my own dying.

 

The sun's hidden behind a cloud

But soon now I won't need it's warmth

Because I'll be covered in blood.  

The sweet kind angels will take me

 

To the painless clouds of Heaven;

There I won't have to be afraid,

There I won't have to kill people

To ensure my own survival,

And there I won't have to suffer…