You wanted it to happen
To have them reiterate
the words that you have
already imagined them
saying to you over and 
over again.
And you can't stop smiling.
And it is so obvious...
You are so obviously happy
that it cannot be explained.
But why?
Why would you want them to
see you so exposed,
And in such a fragile state?
It contradicts everything that 
you are and have become.
This strong person who 
would get up after being 
knocked down,
Who would never 
not put forth her best effort.
It defies logic
That you, such a reliable being
would want to persue such a 
selfish way of life.
That is to feed off people's 
emotions and every relationship
that you have created, may it be
imaginary or real, it is just so 
far from what is righteous that
it makes your grin seem like 
an impenetrable expression 
of worthlessness and hate.
But,... maybe that's who 
you are.....