The Ultimate Stage

Mon, 09/01/2014 - 23:44 -- Kaelyn


23° 38' 4.2036" N, 102° 33' 10.0224" W
23° 38' 4.2036" N, 102° 33' 10.0224" W

I can give a smile, and say I'm ok,
     even when I don't feel that way inside

I can speak to you, in a different languages too,
     some because my skin demands me to.

I can greet everyone warmly, when I don't want to see anybody,
     for its expected of me to do so.

It's part my fault that you don't know me,
     but its part your fault too.

I, for my heart is encased in walls and gates
     too afraid to venture outside
     too afraid to to let you in
     too afraid to show myself

I, for no matter how close you can get,
     I cannot let you see my tears
       as the roll bitterly away
     I cannot let you see my anger
       twisting in my heart
     I cannot let you see my thoughts
       flowing happily and sadly, dancing 
         along secret lines, swirling
         by their own volitions, hiding
         all that is inside.

I, for although I care for you and
     perhaps you care for me,
I can't let you know that I 
     am a girl who likes the quiet in this noisy world
     and at times when the misty blankets me from buildings
     and at times the rain, as it washes away the world.
I can't let you know that I
     am a student whose head is stuck with the tales of days past
     whose fingers like to dance to the printed notes
     whose heart wishes to find the way to correct this and that.

In my head I see the way the crowns passed from hand to hand
     the way the soldiers trekked across the land
     the way the victims had to hide, or starve, or were doomed to death.
I see the way the arts had changed
     the way the world turned and turned
     the way the land evolved while the sun and moon stayed the same.

I am stuck in the clouds
     clouds that sometimes depict a better world than now
     or sometimes where my favorite fictional characters dance
     clouds where upon our reality cannot stand
     wishing they rain down my dreams
                                                       my hopes
                                                              my wishes.

You, though, because of the mask you, too, hold
     because of the glasses you see through
     you will not let me see past your paintings
     you will not see me without a tinted plane
                          that divides us, screens us, blocks our hearts.

You cannot let go
     of the prejudices that you hold
     of your own fears to let me in
     of your own fears to face the world.

You cannot let go
     of the imperfections that hold us in
     of the way your eyes judge
     of the words that you have heard
         clogging up your ears
     of the pictures you have seen
         fogging up your eyes
     of the way you have been raised
         covering up your heart.

It is your flaws,
     and mine too,
that make this world a stage.

It is your fears
     and mine too,
that draws a curtain before our faces.

But it is not something we can change
     although we may wish to
Not a change that can live in this world
      until we can both change
         the way our ears listen
         the way our eyes see
         the way our noses and hands feel the world
         the way our heart beats.
Until we can accept our own flaws
     then others' too
and wear them as a scarlet letter
     ashamed, but proud too.


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