Ugly girl
I keep telling myself that I’m ugly,
How i can’t possibly love myself because every time i look in the mirror,
I hate what i see,
The stretch marks, loose skin, gap in my front teeth, over analysing every single part of myself,
destroying my self esteem,
constantly telling myself how could anyone ever want me,
When i dont even don’t like my own own body.
I wish I could make myself understand that I’m perfect, just by being me,
I just wish i knew just how much people adore me
How they love that even when if I’m going through some of my toughest times,
I still put all of my energy into putting on a smile and acting like everything’s fine.
Or how they think I’m brave, intelligent, gentle, kind,
how i can going to change the world someday with that incredible mind.
I hate seeing myself cry,
because every time i look in the mirror i see something i don’t like,
and I hate how much it hurts you every single time,
I wish I could take the pain away,
And be happy for once
When am i going to realise that this ongoing battle that I’m have with myself
it’s a losing fight,
I’m literally destroying myself
Trying so hard to be something that i will never be
I keep comparing myself to others,
I keep seeking comments from other people,
When, what i really need, is self love,
Yes I know i don’t have the perfect body,
reality check, most people don’t,
So what’s the use in tearing myself apart like this?
I keep thinking it’s going to help me in anyway, it wont I’ll never understand how someone so great, can think so little about themselves,
I watch myself,
struggling to cope everyday,
and I just want to get helpbut I’m to scared to get help
I reduced myself to ugly,
hideing behind baggy clothes, watching i eat,
Care so much about what people think that about me that i can’t even walk down the street,
self hate has filtered it’s way into every inch of my body,
and it killing me slowly
I hope one day i can look in the mirror and live with what i see,
that it doesn’t hurt me so much anymore,
Because i need to understand that i got more to offer to the world than simply being pretty,
No longer haunted by the scars on my skin,
but fights to be the change they want to see.
credits