A Type of Existence

The space between us used to be nonexistent.

I never knew where you began and I ended

Our passion persistent,

Persistent like the pain you caused, unintended.

“Even still, I love you”


When we met our star dust intertwined,

Caused an explosion so bright, it left me blind.

But your departure has caused me to collapse and now,

I pule, through broken vows 

“Even still, I love you”


There’s a void in your place 

A vast emptiness that I welcome with a frigid embrace

An emptiness that spreads through my space,

my veins, my chest, my brain. Yet-

the heart still aches

“Even still, I love you”


Our collapse shifted my trajectory and I feel myself drifting aimlessly. 

How am I supposed to cope when my skin, 

in agony, growing cold and stiff, my life, thinning.

As I watch our light start to fade, I wisp 

“Even still, I love you”


Or maybe. i don’t.

maybe. not anymore.


Maybe what i craved was a warm body,

A body to fill a space in my heart,

A heart that sadly, lacked existence,

An existence that feared the light from the umbrage,


An umbrage, parted by the same hands that covered my eyes,

Eyes that were desperate to look at the sky,

A sky full of colors that could fill my soul.

A soul, filled to the brim, with a dark shade of you.


Maybe our love had to die,

For my light to find its own shine

To fill the empty space that once suffocated my core.

To create a playground for a heart that wants more.


Now I’ve claimed the purples and blues

That once darkened my space.

Used them to charm the moon,

And her lovers. Searching for a new embrace 

A new creation, nowhere near the shade of you.


Five words I no longer need.

Five months I’ve spinned, 

Losing the melody of you.

Finding, creating a new tone to use. 


The tides will change and so will I.

Her departure will not stop my becoming.


My new light, shining brighter than our greatest nights,

I stand under the moonlight and Glow

Illuminating my newly opened skies.

Braced by my own soul- I

breath “For me. I’m alive.”


Mind, Spirit, and Soul, all finally bound

Together. Facing away from the shadows

I used to call home. My feet grounded,

Fulling this new energy, I grow-

“For me. I’m alive.”


With each new sunset, I extend 

My arms, reach for the velvet light at the end of the sky.

Thank the moon for her godsend

gift of the death of what I used to be.

My rebirth, I weep “For me. I’m alive.”


My ears ring. This time with my own tune.

No longer will my head and heart follow the lead of another hymn

My existence finally overwhelms my surroundings just like the monsoon.

I rain over the space, the beat of my drops mimic my song-

“For me. I’m alive.” 


I stand above the floods, feel the currents of power

Flow by my feet. The winds above my head chant alongside my voice

We work beside each other, grow as one until she begins to tower

Over me. Both wild and turbulent creations of nature.

We become one and scream

“For me. I’m alive.”


Submerged, under the surge, I watch my past self drown.

A flash of remorse shocks the air out of me. In a panic-

A sort of manic, I reach, gouge

Any trace of any death or any part of any self.

“For me. I’m alive.”


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