Gasping for air

reaching for help

doing everything in my power

to not be pulled down

     I finally give up and suffer in silence

so that the younger offspring of my violent mother don't scare

I take the pain that no one can

I walk through the things no one can

      I hurt, I cry, I deal with pain

they will never understand

I try to cope

I sing, I dance, I talk, I write

but nothing stops the overbearing thought 

that reply in my head as I dream

It scares me violently

the thought and remeberence 

of someone of my blood

my own mother

but only by half 

my own older brother

the cause of my trauma