Today is like any other day. Except-

It isn't

It's like a few days out of the year. The days that Are the roller coaster rising up.

This isn't the kind of slow adreniline of not knowing what is going to happen. This is the slow fear of knowing exactly what is.

I'm going down again. The high I was on is disappearing and I no longer feel confident enought to carry on. 

Another breakdown is upcoming, but when? 

When will it come?

I rise higher and Higher unitl I'm at the top of the roller coaster. I scream because I know it's coming. Others look at me with strange eyes. Why fear something that hasn't happened? Quit worrying about the future iBut the future is inevitable and there is no point in not thinking about it; especially since consequences exist. 

Nightmares like this haunt me. Not because I'm scared of going somewhere, but just not knowing when that will happen is worrysome.