Today I do not wish to be awake

Today I do not wish to be worshiped or told that I am beautifulAlthough I do greatly appreciate it Today I will stay in my roomThe curtains drawn and the lights offMy headphones in and my mind on do not disturb Today I will participate in the minimal amount of worldly activitiesI will not go out of my way to make friendly conversationI will exchange or simple smile rather than a “how are you doing today?”I hope no one will notice Today do not wish to be touchedSincerely I apologize but not even to offer the simplest warm hugGracefully lay your hand upon your heart so that I know you feel for me  Today do not wish to be told “I love you”Those words are important, the kind you don’t take backIf you mean it write it down Fold it into something small and hand it to me with a smile  Today I do not wish to have any human contactFor I am afraid that regardless of how nice I see him or put together I look-They are are still judging me  I fear that someone will see through me one day-Hell maybe they already do I fear that someone will feel my tattered and tired energy-I hope I don’t project that hard I fear they will suspect I am damaged-Mercilessly using that to prove their strengths   I am mostly fearful that one day I will have gone through too many days like today-And I will no longer see any tomorrows