I knew I had grown when my toes stretched out from my shoes.
I knew I had grown when my clothes no longer hung loose.
I knew I had grown when I went from being as small as an elf to as tall as Zeus.
I knew I had grown when my body started to deceive me.
I knew I had grown when I began to speak more eloquently.
I knew I had grown when I began to feel free.
Abuse was like an old friend.
Pounding fists and hurtful words never seemed to end,
Broken Relationships never seemed to mend,
Being happy was something I frequently had to pretend.
Anxiety attacks became a new habit I couldn’t break,
My grades and school life was at stake,
Every smile was a fake,
My life: I wanted to take.
I thought I was doomed from the start,
Just another soul soon to part,
Just another number for the charts,
Just another girl with a doomed heart.
But then, it stopped.
One day I got tired of letting my life control me,
Tired of being someone I didn’t want to be;
Desiring just to be free
And that was the key.
My days grew bright,
I slept through the night.
No longer had to fight,
I suddenly felt right.
So although I knew I had changed when my shoes were too small for my toes,
And although I knew I had changed when my feminine curves began to show,
Although I knew I had changed when my skin began to glow,
It was when I found joy and myself that I truly knew that I had grown.