She hated watching TV
It doesn't take anyone special to sit on a couch and stare
mindlessly at a screen that can do nothing but stare back at you
stare through you
change the channel as much as you want,
it doesn't change the fact that
you're in this house alone
Rewind to when she was child
no more than six years old, she sits at home alone
stuffed animals clutched so tightly next to her heart
she was afraid of the dark
but too short to reach the light switch
Fast forward five years
the air cold and empty from house desolated the
house felt with only one alive being occupying the space
her mother was out again
Fast-forward
It wouldn't be the first night her mother was out
the click of the locked door triggered a tear that she didn't even feel fall
her mother will never know the honor roll
Change the Channel
each click of a heel proof she would rather be a 21 year old college student than take care of her only daughter 
Click
the child changes the channel on her tv trying to pass the time before her mother stumbled through the back door
Click
her mother laughs emotionless from a bar, her lipstick stained teeth mix with the third glass of wine
Click
the microwave closes on a frozen dinner her mother bought a week ago
Pause
heart wrung out like a soggy rag she is a swarm of desperation and determination
to never be like her
her mom will never know she's still afraid of the dark
she will never know the reason her mom can't stand the look of her smile
it mirrors the lips of a father who used her hips not for purpose but for pleasure
Play
a mother who can't push past her pain to find the love she knows is hiding for her daughter
She sits quiet, yearning deep for emotion so buried beneath the fear she's not sure it even exists
agony disguised as alcoholism 
Jack Daniel the only one who knows her thoughts 
wake up and notice that your world is passing you by
shower and rinse of the pain you feel because she feels it to
love dammit because your life is growing older and further away you won't 
know how to deal when your home alone with nothing but cold air and an old TV set
Power OFF
the TV wasn't making much sound anyways