She was a sweetheart, she was lovely. We used to talk well into the night about anything and everything and life and death and the world. It was great, It was a beautiful thing, she was beautiful. Except when it wasnt, when she wasnt. When she got mad and exploited the insecurities I told her all about. When she was cold and distant to my feelings and she was cruel in the way she systematically threatened me and ignored me. Anytime I stood up for myself it was always my fault. It was always me hurting her. Because it had to be my fault, she wouldn't hurt me, because she loved me.

He was so nice. He was kind and smooth talking and he called me princess and promised me the world. We hung out at school and watched disney movies together and shared the same sense of humor and style and love of art. He was always so good to me. Until he wasnt. Until I was 'too broken to love' and I owed him my body because he loved me, until it was my fault he cheated on me. Until he contacted me after months of not talking to tell me he hopes I get abused my whole life and never experience comfort or 'real love' and hopes I die, soon, sad and alone. 

So, my love please understand when I get afraid, when I cant believe you, when you hold me close and I cry and on the days where I just need some space for a while. Please don't take it to heart when I tell you I'm afraid you'll hurt me. Please dont get irritated when I call you in the middle of the night to have you reassure me that you still care about me. I know you wont take any of it personally, you happily tell me how much you care about me, and when we get mad at eachother it never turns into a personal attack. You've never even once told me I was worthless to you, that you couldnt stand me, that you didn't want me anymore, you havent once told me I owed you, or made me feel like I couldnt talk to you. Because you really love me. And oh my god I love you too.