These Mistakes I Make

Fri, 06/28/2013 - 17:39 -- mchally

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He was 18 livin' the American dream

Two sons, one daughter, but no family

One enlisted in the army as a way to stay clean

Another fisted for fetal revolution with a gangsta lean

Lieutenant Colonel Commander Major Hally

I salute you, yet I refute to believe our relations have been fruitful

What means the world to me does not mean the world to you

And I don't expect it to, but respect me too

Speak the truth when I want you to

Questions left unanswered are things assumed

I try not to and I think I do, but what I want is still a skew

I fell in line, I followed you, and when you left I followed through

I did my half I struggled on

Ignored the frauds and false icons 

Matured much faster than other youths

But felt I needed some sort of proof

Work and school couldn't mask the pain 

So I’d find myself up on the roof insane

Not wanting to jump, but needing to breathe 

An unimaginable stress that need be relieved

Bubbling and boiling it broke the seems

As beads of sweat brushed aside by the breeze of the trees

And as time went on and he still wasn't there

I lost control and the will to care

Grades started slippin' with the classes I was dippin'

Nights spent alone turned to nights spent chillin'

Was on the football team but eventually quit

Fuck the discipline I wouldn't ever submit

Shit, found myself smokin' n' chokin' on the green

Everyday blazed beneath the sun on the beach

Paying for weed became too much of a need

Started slingin' so I'd save myself some money

But inevitably it came to be

I was writing a letter explaining what I did to my dad while he was overseas

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