Is it worth it,

For people to only know me by my "shyness",

My looks, 

My sarcasm, 

Not even knowing my name

Or my brain for that matter

And how I know that

It is physically impossible for pigs to look into the sky

Let alone fly in it.

But don't ask me why I know that, it's just one of those things. 

I'm just a quiet, 

Insecure, 

Quirky,

Nerd, 

Someone people look for when they need help with homework,

Someone who has been asked, "do you have a life after school?",

Someone that won't break out of their comfort zone to show people that 

They and I are not that different, and

He and she can solve their issues, and

We as people can make a difference so why?

Why must we separate ourselves because I don't wear Jordans

Because I have kinky hair that's hard to manage. 

Because I don't want to hang out at a party

And watch you get high in a corner with your friends 

And wonder "when the hell is someone going to come get me out".

 

Is college worth the anxiety for the next four years because 

God knows I've had enough and I'm only seventeen.

People are out here dreaming the impossible 

When all they've done was skip class and pray

That when the teacher said "due tomorrow"

They meant "do tomorrow"

And they can get their 47 to a just passing 67 within a day

While other kids are going to school, working, babysitting, 

Barely eating, barely sleeping, barely holding on to their lives because

It's just too stressful. 

But we hold on.

Because we learn,

That somehow that it's impossible for something to be impossible

And we can turn our lives upside down because 

We are just getting started, and 

There is nothing to be stressed out about as a teenager, as we try ever so hard to balance

School work, Homework, being graded based on how well you can take a test or,

How much you speak in a seminar, if at all,

Or chores, and family, and college applications, scholarships, financial aid, and social lives, 

And mental health, and extracurriculars, and health, and hobbies, and

Holding the responsibility of making an adults future worth living. 

Adults dump so much on a teenager until it becomes too much to bear, 

And when we come home, just wanting peace and quiet, we automatically have an attitude,

We are old enough to make our own decisions in the world, 

But you're too young to speak your opinion to an adult.

"Never speak to your elders with disrespect"

Even though, not all adults are wise.

I don't have the money to leave the house and buy an apartment, or a car

Or even pay for college tuition

Something that is going to qualify me for the job that I've always dreamed of having.

But I make my best effort to get there,

And balance all of this stress, 

And take my family out of debt,

And manage to break the stereotype that all teenagers are good for,

Is sitting on social media trying to pretend to be something they are not, 

For recognition,

And show people that,

There are many of us out there, 

That are quiet and are just 

Trying to make some changes in how patterns have formed. 

I know to me, as a teenager, it is, 

But to you, 

Is it worth it?