Sunshine

I began to challenge the conviction

Perhaps my torment hadn't sprung from my own mind

Perhaps it'd been a seed, planted by the sunshine.

Sunshine facing me, best friend.

But someone took a hold of it

Made it foggy, obscure, Leaving me no longer in familiarity with its substance

I could no longer feel it's  warm sensation

And slowly the coldness advanced, trudged from within, expanding to every corner, you can sign it as my past.

Perhaps it grew from the experiences it had been fed.

Few but always intense.

Perhaps it was the never in my life seeing what a healthy relationship  looked like.

I understand that it wasn't easy

I understand you did the best you could,

Happened to fall in love with some dude.

Thought it was the thing to do.

It all goes back to him

How life began to change

I was a kid, but I learned how to feel hate

And now what

I know how to hate more than anything.

But I want to love more than anything.

-R.C