Once Upon a Time…

There was a goose. She was incredibly normal by most standards. Her smooth feathers had just lost the gosling down, and her eyes were darkly lined with intelligence. Except of course, she was not intelligent. Not that most geese are, but this goose was exceptionally idiotic. Her mother was always concerned about her well being. The pond was small, almost holding the title of being the smallest pond in all of England, as a matter of fact. Yet, this young goose always insisted on becoming thoroughly lost amidst the blue reeds and cattails that edged the water, and her mother would have to holler and call'er till the absent-minded bird made her way back into visibility. One day, on an especially cold afternoon, the stupid goose never came back. I would like to tell you that her mother wept, or at least shed some sorrowful tear, but, she did not. This could be attributed to the fact the geese can't really cry, but the rest of the pond community thought her cruel none-the-less. They all assumed that she had been devoured by a moor predator. However, this was not the case. On the contrary, the goose had been distracted by a trail of ants, and had begun to eat them as they made their procession through the tall grasses. Her mother had long ago told her to avoid eating ants, but naturally, she had long since forgotten this command. So on she waddled, crunching on the small pests as she made her way farther and farther away from the familiarity of the pond. When the ants ran out we all wondered what was going through her head. Fear? Panic? Probably not. She just kept on walking. Eventually she came to a forest, right as the sun was going down. If she had any wits she would have utilized her glorious wings to fly to safety. But, she did not. The stillness of the forest wrapped itself around the lone goose, and eventually she decided to sleep. It's a wonder she wasn't immediately gobbled up. Fate, I suppose, had it's hand of protection resting over her stupid head. And fate continued to work as a figure became visible in the soft morning light that shone in shafts through the tall, dark trees. She had awoken with a start- and a squawk- which had roused curiosity in the fellow traveler. But this traveler was a predator- a predator of the most heinous caliber. For, he was human. A small human: only eight years old, but dangerous despite his youth. “O 'ello there, bird!” He cried. The goose lay, stupefied. The boy knelt and stretched out his hand to the bird. She nipped at him. “'Ey now, that 'taint right now, nay tis' not right at'tall!” Cried the wee lad as he massaged his red fingers. The goose looked up into his eyes as he glared at her. They were green- the same color as her pond. Something in her brain clicked- or maybe snapped- and she chose the boy to be her companion. The boy, however, had lost interest in her after the sour handshake. But, still she persisted by following him around and flapping her mighty wings around his ankles. “AWWAAH!” he shrieked, certain that she was attacking him once more. With one mighty kick he sent her flying against a nearby tree. The bird lay lifeless. “'Ey now, did I kill et'?” Sniveled the boy. He crept over to her and poked her soft chest. Still, she lay motionless. The boy, saddened by his deed, reached into his pocket and produced a handful of beans. Just before reaching the goose an old farmer had pawned them to him in exchange for the few shillings the boy had been given to buy potatoes. He was still wondering how he would explain this exchange to his mother, and the lack of the small beans entirely would most certainly make it look as if he had bought something frivolous such as sweets. Still, he did not want the pitiful bird to die, and the farmer had promised him that the beans were magical. So, with great caution, the boy bent over and pried open the bill of the lifeless goose, and shoved the beans into her mouth. He then shook her in attempts to get the beans down her throat. One must have made it, because the goose began to wheeze. “'Ey! Ya' taint' dead!” Cried the little boy. His celebration was short lived, however, because something strange began to happen. The goose had righted herself, and was gradually getting bigger. The boy had to back up to avoid the flapping of her powerful wings. She grew, and grew, and grew. Eventually her body was trapped inside the forest trees, and yet, she continued to grow, snapping the wood in half. The boy took shelter behind a large oak in the distance. We all wondered what the goose was thinking as she became massive. The answer is still unknown. No one was ever able to ask her, because without a moment's notice she began to spread her wings. Up, up she went, causing powerful gusts of wind below her. As the sun continued to rise in the sky she flew towards it. The boy, who ended up being quite famous himself, watched her disappear into the gleaming rays, never to be seen (by him) again. There are rumors though. Someone from down South swore that she had been seen in some magical realm up above, laying golden eggs for the mighty giants that had migrated from the Americas on a sky bridge. This was never confirmed, however, and so, the legacy of the stupid goose remains to this day as a mere fairy tale.

The End