It is 2:53 in the morning and i am a shadow,
despondent and detached from anything that I have ever had deep emotions for,
I must cope with the intricacy of feeling too much,
or to compensate for my insensibility.   If only I could sustain in a state of unconsciousness,
Although I would be left with an eventual breakdown at least for a moment I would stop feeling so much,
Or not enough ,
I am in love with a boy that talks for hours about nothing yet I still listen,
I still stay on the line,
I hear his voice and I am interested at every breath he takes when he is intrigued ,
Every sentence every stop I feel ,
I fall,
I fear,
Even when silence occurs I still love knowing he is there,
I would chase the stars just to place them in my eyes so maybe he would see beauty in me like I see in him .
But how should I expect him to see what's not actually there,
Reality is just a perspective,
You can not defer it from illusion but whether illusion or reality I don't care as long as he's there
He will never love me though .
I would spend hours, days, months , or even years to get my love to see ,

To feel,

To fall,

But I am a monster , I hurt ones I care for. Though I'd never hurt him. I'd give him the sun yet he would see me as just another speck of dust.

Years later,I can't breathe.