STOP

It is 2:53 in the morning and i am a shadow,
despondent and detached from anything that I have ever had deep emotions for,
I must cope with the intricacy of feeling too much,
or to compensate for my insensibility.   If only I could sustain in a state of unconsciousness,
Although I would be left with an eventual breakdown at least for a moment I would stop feeling so much,
Or not enough ,
I am in love with a boy that talks for hours about nothing yet I still listen,
I still stay on the line,
I hear his voice and I am interested at every breath he takes when he is intrigued ,
Every sentence every stop I feel ,
I fall,
I fear,
Even when silence occurs I still love knowing he is there,
I would chase the stars just to place them in my eyes so maybe he would see beauty in me like I see in him .
But how should I expect him to see what's not actually there,
Reality is just a perspective,
You can not defer it from illusion but whether illusion or reality I don't care as long as he's there
He will never love me though .
I would spend hours, days, months , or even years to get my love to see ,

To feel,

To fall,

But I am a monster , I hurt ones I care for. Though I'd never hurt him. I'd give him the sun yet he would see me as just another speck of dust.

Years later,I can't breathe.

This poem is about: 
Me

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