still spins
what would happen
what would happen if i did
step out into traffic
jump off a bridge
eat those extra pills
what would happen
i imagine a lot the aftermath
never the pain
never the relief
never what i feel
the cost of being selfless i guess
i imagine my mother being called into the office at work or finding me on my untidy bedroom floor and screaming
i imagine my father getting the call at work and not shedding a tear
i imagine my sister in school getting called down to the office and hearing the news not being able to think straight and crying like she did for Nala
i imagine my brother waking up late to a phone call and hearing that his little sister his favorite sister is dead
i imagine all my friends i would have addressed in the letter and their reactions when told
i imagine the teachers i was close with hearing through an email circulating through the school
i imagine if i am in a fancy dress or in day old pajamas
i imagine if my room is clean or if it's untidy as usual
what would happen if i did
what would happen if anyone did
the world will still spin
thats why so many have done it