Stairs

“So, did you pick your major?”
They politely probe and prod.
“What college are you going to?”
“What’s your dream job?”
But what they really mean is:
“Pick your major already!”
“Decide. Meet that deadline! Send. Fill out that application!”
“Time!
“…Is running out.”

Life is kind of like that nagging movie—the reel looping over and over again
A bittersweet symphony
Life is kind of like that demanding chess game—where the rules are the same
But the pieces different
The moves changing quicker than we can keep track of
Life is a complicated jumble of twirls we don’t even know we’re making sometimes!
Pulling impossible cartwheels out of thin air
Tumbling from one perfect jump to one messy landing.
Life is at the tips of our fingers as each sound of the hands of the consuming clock echo.
And yet still, before we reach our last day as guided students
Our last seconds before that clock’s time runs out
We’re pushed along on this violent ride that robs you of your YOU
Bouncing us against the contours of our already paved future.
But before our strands of dreams are plucked
Before the roots of our childhood fascinations are ripped
Before our licking flames of fire die out
I take a closer look at their advice.
And laugh.
Focus on that future, they say!
Keep your eyes on the prize.
And to this I say, don’t watch your nights move till you reach ‘the future’.
Be the one setting it in motion.
Kick your brother out
Shove your sister away
Lock yourself in the empty room and sing loud to the song playing on the radio.
Wake up early in the morning and eat just for the heck of it
Gorge on what you want just because you can.
Take chances
Make mistakes
Be the best you can be, not the best there is.
Get on the wrong bus
Give the wrong address
End up on the other side of the world.
Love that girl you saw walking down the hallway
Build up the courage to approach the man you swore looked at you from across the room.
Kiss the hands of the person who healed your wounds
Their knuckles a reminder of the effortless emotions purposely poured.
Be grateful for each minute passed.
We forget time is ticking by, its minutes ignorant of our need for slow seconds.
Swear you’re going to end the feud between a best friend.
Cry over a silly movie and laugh when you think the tension in the room is too thick.
Break the pencil before a big test to get rid of nerves and
Shake your legs when you feel the stress is weighing you down.
Pinky promise you’ll be the one to make the perfect house of cards
Then topple the tower down just to watch the wave.
Climb out from beneath paper towns and build it out of bricks
Triple dog dare the boy down the block to eat the worm!
But end up being the one who does it with him.
Grow up to be a princess even when you feel like you’re not
Feel powerful at moments where you’re powerless.
Remember the feeling of simple relief at finding the heater seater on the bus.
Or remember the gesture of resting your head on the glass window.
Memorize the path each tremor took through your body
The motion of pounding bus against stubborn asphalt
Tickling your nose
Making your head shake with its quakes and quivers.
When you can, enjoy the little happy specks in your life.
Sometimes, as insatiable teenagers, there’s a famine of it.
Highs can turn into lows, and then you forget that hard earned A in calculus
That sweeter than sweet cup of coffee a friend sends when you’re having a bad day
That feeling of rising relief when prickling pain pans out.

And when the weight of the world hurtles to its landing at the flawed flat of your back
When your life becomes a cheap rendition of Atlas
Grasp onto the happiness with an iron fist and don’t let go.
Please, don’t let go.
As venturing adults, we’ll need it.
We’ll need it when money is low
When rejection letters stack up on the point of a fragile precipice
When finding a job is as hard as the ground our feet devour.
Remember that when the sadness threatens to crush you to steal a glance behind your shoulder.
And when you think no one is looking, when you’re sure there aren’t any watchful eyes, dance.
Admire painted patterns and stand with awe at the precious presence of something great.
Swim within a myriad of dreams, don’t feel guilty for wanting to.
Never feel guilty for wanting to.
For wanting to stand motionless.
For wanting to pick up the pebbles at your feet and lob them into a mirror of water
For wanting to watch its ripples shimmer and contort into constantly concentric circles.
For wanting to want, not need.
And when the calm after the undulations of the crystal water loom over you
As you begin to fall into a routine
As you begin to forget vibrancy and boldness and beauty and fun!
And a sort of silence falls over you
That kind of silence where you wait on bated breath to
See
Hear
What will be said next
That kind of silence that is on the very verge of sound
Brace yourself for the plunge.
Break the quiet
Dive into the still water
Resurrect its ripples

Chase the tails of your shadow towards your dream
Unconditionally love what you are
And most importantly, bask in the decisions you made today and will make tomorrow
Radiate happiness
Let the rays reach and touch
Ebb and flow
Let it bleed to the revolving four corners of the earth.
They said to me ‘you can shoot for the stars. The heights you can reach are astronomical'.
But they never
Ever
Murmured into my ear that ‘on the way there, on the way to reaching your bright star
‘Look down,
‘Watch the heights you’re climbing
‘Guard them.
‘The most striking things can be found through the wobbly stairs you mount to reach the sturdy peak.
‘The loveliest, most breathtaking sights are the ones that lead you to the stunning finale.’
They never tell you these things
Secretly sweeping it underneath rugs you won’t ever dare look under
They never whisper to embrace the seasons
Don’t miss out on them
Drown in them.
Swallow them whole.
So rub your hands in the bitter snow even as you feel like you left your fingers behind.
Wipe away the pouring sweat on that sizzling summer day
Shake your locks of curls as the spring breeze tugs at tendrils of hair
At each strand
Play within each leaf left lying low after the rough autumn air rips each from its root.
Sure, you’ll see the seasons but only behind glass windows and drab desks
Sure, they were right, never hesitate to put your arm in the air to grip the highest star in sight.
But you know what? Here’s MY advice.
Better advice.

Before the present trickles between fleshy gaps
Drips from between loose fingers
Seeps through the fissures of your hand
Forget the frenzied future
Hold on to the nows
The todays
The tonights.
Because whether you like it or not
Whether you’re ready or ill prepared
Whether you have the stuff or you just don’t
That future that our teachers
Our parents
Our lives
Have forcefully forced us towards
It’s waiting for us to get there.
Through the jungle of teenagers
Within a maelstrom of muddled emotions
Perpetually surrounded and shrouded by bliss and comfort.
I piously pray you never doubt its existence
That you never forget the stairs you climbed.

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

Hyaqasmieh

I wrote this poem on the eve of my high school graduation. I wrote this poem and performed it with a passion I didn't know I had until I was sweating, tearing, and laughing at the images I very vividly and vibrantly saw in my head. I think we were all afraid at some point when we realized that the time was up--that we had to move one other piece in the chess board we're all forced to play. For some, it might have lasted no more than a second. For me? I was terrified for a very real, very LONG time. And so, when I finally wrote this poem out, it was kind of a "screw you!" attitude to anyone who put that fear in a student just about to finish high school. When I finally wrote this poem out, it was kind of a "I'm with you" and "we've all felt it" attitude to anyone who FELT that fear. I hope it soothes you in the same way it soothed me. If it does its medicine with only a fraction of the intensity with which it did to me, then I'd say that that's a good start. Peace, friend.

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741