i've been losing minutes to my head,

the mind about two inches out of my skull.

i said i'd get something to eat when i made it back,

but even with good intentions, 

bad memory and slimy ideals

made me consider not.

 

the sidebar on facebook told me

to make life in east lansing michigan more exciting

for 49.99 a month, making several assumptions,

chief among them being that i can afford 49.99 a month (i cannot)

and that i live in east lansing michigan (i've never been there.)

 

and things feel weird, 

like when i'm open and candid about what is wrong with me 

or who i am, or when i tell

my stories too often.

even though i know communication is the key to understanding,

something, maybe a little monster curled up in my brain stem,

makes me think that i'm just begging for attention.

 

my stomach is aching and pulls

on a muscle in my shoulder,

and i feel, just maybe, like i might get sick.

or that i might fall up the stairs to my dorm

and float away through the ceiling.

 

but things like that don't happen 

and i'm making mountains out of mole hills

again, and why don't you take better care of yourself

and i'll have another voicemail on my phone when i plug

it in, my mom asking where i was 

but it's too late to call her back now.

 

too late to fix our mistakes,

just patch ourselves up the best we can.