This emptiness inside has made me realize that my heart is not made of steel and that what we had is not real. That no matter how hard I cry, you won't look at me with fondness in your eyes or smile at me with those lovely thin lips of yours or hug me with your strong familiarity that reminds me of home and that makes me sick. But to see you look at me and not even bat an eyelash is one of the worst pains to endure, it's as if you see through me more than see me. And as I lie here faint of heart, I feel like I'm drowning in the waves. Waves of dark rushing water that threatens to fill my lungs and you're there and the water keeps filling up my air. All I can really feel are my misty eyes filled with images of you and me everytime they fall shut. Never letting me be, playing over and over like the song you loved so much. It's like torture to my soul and I feel so alone. But all these broken sobs that escape me could never make me regret what we had or the overwhelming happiness I used to feel in your arms.  I resent the fact that I wasn't the one for you and for that I'm so sorry.