Expressing my emotions to someone is not easy

I could tell just what I want you to know

But I’ll never tell you exactly what’s on my mind

                                            Scared of rejection or fear of being judged        

Or even saying the wrong thing that could offend someone

I try to seem like everything is okay

When I’m sad even mad I’ll still have the same look on my face

So you could never tell what I’m thinking

I hold back my tears if something is upsetting me

Sometimes I wish I did not have a heart and instead be heartless

At least I won’t be so hyper sensitive

I never told anyone how I truly feel about them

Because I think they don’t want to listen

Why would they??

They have better things to do

I don’t want to waste their time with my nonsense

I don’t know if it me talking, the devil or my depression kicking in

But whatever it is it makes my heart aches

Crying at random sometimes doesn’t not help either

I know there people out here who have it worse than me

I’m not pretty, cute, hot or sexy

Ha, like I could ever be

I don’t have a nice body and I’m fat

I eat too much and just a lazy bum

What guy would like me huh?There been times where I would just starve myself

But whenever try I get dizzy and almost pass out

I wonder how long I could go without eating??

If I had enough balls too I would commit suicide

Because occasionally I feel like I’m just waste of flesh

It is bad that I picture myself dead??

Yet I’m scared of death mostly how it would happen

I would rather pass away in my sleep

What would the world be like without me in it?

The same I bet everyone would move on

And be ignorant to the fact that somebody somewhere died today

In all truth I’m happy about being alive

Being myself and who I am

GOD created me the way he wants me to look

I may not express my emotions well

Fake and pretend but at least there’s one guy who understands

What my heart truly feels

Because he shares the pain with me.