To A Someday Father
So
you think
you want
to be a killer,
tearing out hearts in exchange for souls
leaving a pile of bodies
that were never good enough for their own
expectations anyway but
hell what do you care;
you devour insecurities in the hopes of blotting out your own
so —
you think
you want
to be a killer,
tear stained pillow cases your signature
adolescent heartbreak your trophies
and self loathing
the trail you left behind when you fled
through their bedroom windows
you think
you want
to kill,
but the way you break open women
will be the way your
home is invaded by the stigmas of a society
that endorses it.
The way you weave deceit
a spider among flies
will be the chaos that enters your life
when your some day daughter
with stars in her eyes the shape of tear drops
looks at you betrayed
and misled
when she discovers that her sex
can be violated by the likes of someone like you,
someone so similar to her own father.
Prey begets predator
and she will revolve around wolves
the same way you sniff out sheep,
and the rage that will rise up in you
will be as hypocritical
as the fact that you kiss your mother’s cheek
on your way out of the door
You think.
You want.
to kill?—
The way your someday daughter
will hold herself
will remind you of too many
Friday nights
and just the right amount of booze
and you will sweat
Guilt rising up in your throat
like the nails
that clawed at your back
when you didn’t stop fast enough
and
you think
you want
to kill?
Don’t be naive.
Those dead girls have been
tearing away at you from the moment
they breathed their last breath
and they will whisper
in the ears of your someday daughter
when you give her the very same last smile
they ever saw.
And she will sniff you out,
prey scenting the danger
the nervousness she feels
an adaptation created by hundreds of years
of survival
and she
will run.