So I've been having anxiety this past week stronger than it has been on medication.. I was cleaning and came upon my referral.. I shoved it to the side were I knew I probably wouldn't find it in hopes of not being accountable for not going because I misplaced my information.. in all honestly I'm fearful to go I'm fearful to be labeled I'm fearful of the judgment I'm fearful of having something wrong with me I'm fearful of NOT BEING okay I always thought I could take care of myself even at my lowest why is it so hard to admit I need this writing this gives me angst but there's no other outlet but to have my people know or call to avoid it at all cost I have convinced myself this is the correct way.. It is the way maybe before it's too late I will bit myself outside of wants and go forth woth needs..
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