Snow White & the Seven Lawyers

Once upon a time

In forest, far away

A young, forgotten princess;

In tupperware, she lay.


Her prince came riding up

Saw princess fast asleep

The dwarves in their sevenfold lineup

Protecting her from creeps.


He leant down to kiss her,

That man, he almost slips

Falling on her dress of fur

He targeted her lips.


He finally makes contact

Miss. Snow is wide awake

“I feel a bit attacked..” She says

“Was that kiss your’s to take?”


Snow calls seven dwarves to her

They put their glasses on

They pull out folders to infer

And start their research marathon


“I’m suing you for that assault.

I did not want that kiss.

I’m sorry but it’s not my fault

That now I feel amiss.”


The dwarves defended Snow

Like she was their daughter

The defendant was their foe

And they could not have fought harder.


Judge and Jury thought long and hard

Considering the charge

Snow White’s lawyers pulled every card

Their defense was by and large.


In the end he was convicted

Of that very serious crime.

The original story depicted

Rewritten, without reason or rhyme.






Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741