12:15 AM.

I should be asleep,

Dreaming up a better life,

Or compiling ways to keep you off my mind.

But I’m not.

Instead,

I’m writing down the words that flow through my head,

In attempt to put these heart-wretched feelings

Into a poetic masterpiece

That I know I will be too frigid to ever show you.

You have left me cold,

For my security blanket has fallen.

I gave my heart to you,

But you dropped it in the dirt,

And treaded on it.

I have picked my heart up off the ground since then,

But your footprint will forever remain.

The memories,

Special moments,

The way you looked into my eyes,

Your different smiles,

The way you held me in your arms and kissed me,

Our first kiss,

The first time you told me you loved me…

It’s all imprinted in my mind,

And on my heart.

Each time I flash back,

I return with another stitch on my heart,

To repair where I bled out all the love I have for you,

But that love never leaves my system.

Circles.

Instead it cycles through over and over again.

Like a broken record,

It plays on and on,

Leaving new scratches every time it repeats.

Rewind.

Back in time to change the outcome,

Maybe our song could play on forever.

Sing to me.

I loved hearing you sing.

You brought real music to my life.

But now I have to create my own tune,

Make a new track for myself.

Evidently,

Writer’s block is getting to me.

I guess I’m still speechless from the day you stopped our tape.

Maybe I’m waiting for you to realize

Our harmony is better than all others,

And she could never step to your rhythm,

As well as I did.

Or that you are the truth behind my words

That I so gently place upon this masterpiece,

And without every piece of you,

I am no master.

Until then,

I lie awake still.