simply a homebody.
I was hiding in bed, screaming at myself to get up [in my head] at 11 AM
when my friend came into my dorm so we could meet up to get brunch.
I heard her linger for a few seconds, then slowly leave.
I was broken [but safe] by myself under the covers, but a guilt set in.
I realized when you're an introvert, you can't always face the day.
People get disappointed.
I was sitting in bed, in pajamas, in deep thought about volcanoes and did I just drop a stitch?
when my roommate left the house without a word.
I received over 150 seconds of Snapchats showing the party she and another friend went to.
I was comfy and enjoying myself at home, but a sadness set in.
I realized when you're an introvert, you stop getting invited.
People stop trying.
I was lying on the couch, knowing I had to get up to go out to lunch
when my sister yelled at me: "You always drop out of things.
You never want to do anything if it's an inconvenience to you."
I was capable of going out [though I was actually sick], but an anger set in.
I realized when you're an introvert, you're called lazy and selfish.
People don't want to understand.
But
I am disappointed by people.
My unwillingness to go outside on a bright day is not about you, it's about me.
I need to be hidden in darkness today
I stop trying with people.
My exhaustion with dorms filled over capacity by 30 people is not about you, it's about me.
I need space to breathe.
I beg people to understand.
My lack of desire to be reunited with friends is not about you, it's about me.
I need to be allowed to want to be alone.
My introversion is not a sadness, a sign of "anti-social", a selfishness.
It's just me loving and taking the time to be me, alone.