The Silent Echo

Sun, 04/03/2016 - 12:16 -- TymiaL

I am the voice for the mentally insane.
I speak on behalf of the those with voices locked inside their brain.
The ones who dream of angels but live with demons.
I speak on behalf of the depressed.
The ones who are lost and filled with so much sorrow.
The ones who have to face the pain, guilt, and anxiety while having to deal with the judgement of society.
I speak for the bulimics and the cutters.
For those who suffer from schizophrenia and bipolar.
I speak for those who face suicidal thoughts.
I speak for thoses who aren't here today to speak.
I am the voice for the mentally ill, the mentally insane, and the ones in everlasting pain

This poem is about: 
Our world
Guide that inspired this poem: 



I feel like this poem would be great if you went more in depth by writing down the message you want to write for the mentally insane, depressed, bulimics, cutters, schizophrenics, etc. Because if you speak for and are the voice of those people, then you should have a message to carry along. Grouping all of the people who are affected by these varied conditions is not really working. Like, if you say you speak for a group of people, then do. Otherwise, people will assume that you, the voice of all of these people, have nothing really to say. I just don't really like how you don't expand on what it's like to be affected by any of these conditions other than to say that they have 'voices locked inside their brain' and 'dream of angels but live with demons' (which aren't even true for most of these people) and then you say 'the ones who are lost and filled with so much sorrow... deal with the judgement of society.' It's important, obviously, to approach the subject of mental illness, but I feel like you weren't trying here. You were just trying to speak 'poetically.' And that's fine, but just not for a topic with so much stigma and misconceptions, where so many people die because of these terrible things. If you claim to be the voice of these people, then say something. Or at least try. I know you may or may not have some experience dealing with one or multiple things listed here, but pour your soul out instead of writing how you are the voice. If you really tried to discuss each and every one of these groups in your poem, then you would probably have to separate it out into at least 7 poems because there is just so much you could do here. Instead, it's 11 lines because you left it at "I speak for..."

Just tell us all what you want to say.

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