I can’t remember the last time
I was this awake
the last time
my eyes were so open
 

there’s still your shadow
it has to be here somewhere
it has to
 

dust
on the flowers
on the piano
so much dust
everywhere
it’s hard to remember when there wasn’t any
 

echoes
echoes of the smallest things
like how you would shake your head
how you’d cough
to mask a laugh
or a tear
 

echoes
of silence
of all those awkward silences you hated
all of them at once
 

some part of it must be left here
maybe I just need to squint a little harder
listen a little closer

like ringing in my ears
I never noticed how loud it was
until it was cut short
 

it’s surreal
a dream
I’m going mad
I must be
because I can’t make myself understand
my head can’t take it
my innocent head, so young, so trusting
 

it’s supernatural
paranormal
how dark the night is
how silent
 

but I learn to trust the silence
slowly
so very slowly