Shively Hall
There’s this light on in the top floor of Shively Hall,
Which isn’t open, by the by; no one lives there,
And it’s always on, but it is most especially on
When sirens start to flood the campus,
Buzzards buzzing and I cross myself because
Even if I don’t believe (do I believe?) I’m taking the place of someone else who does
Who doesn’t hear the heartbreak sorrow
Heartbeat beating faster, faster,
Faster,
Too fast. STOP. breathe.
it's most especially on when things
go wrong, when i've disappointed
one more person, when my ribcage
tightens, tightens, tightens,
snaps, STOP. stop fucking up.
this isn't about you, any more.
it never was.
the light is most especially on
when i can hear someone's heart breaking across the hall.
a girl in my philosophy class got up and walked out
because she got a text that her mom was in a car accident.
and i kept praying, saying hail marys, hail miraculous mary
just in case the world was listening--- but i doubt it.
the light is most especially on, i think,
when we need to remember we're not alone.