scarred knuckles

Location

United Kingdom
55° 22' 40.9836" N, 3° 26' 9.5028" W

"I like to hit things" was a thing I have said to many people when asking of sore knuckles, bruised knuckles, bleeding knuckles, scabbed knuckles.

In which the person struggles, to understand why.

"why" I have heard in many voices,

asking of my choices.

Soon enough I had my answer rehearsed, because it wasn't the first, time I had to explain why i like to hit things.

I guess it brings, something else to the table, another feeling other than sadness.

Which they must have thought was madness, causing myself harm to just feel something other than my own brain.

To feel pain.

Which is insane, to have to hit a wall until either me or the wall breaks, until my hand aches, because we all know, that I don't bestow, the power required to break a wall.

a wall

They ask "why a wall? people normally show aggression through sadness to people?"

I guess, I don't wish anyone pain but myself.

For to bring physical pain to oneself, makes me forget my emotional health.

No longer sad, no longer hurt, no longer angry, no longer anything, for all i become is a bloodstain on a wall.

For the time it takes for me to grind my knuckles through punches, until my body hunches, is all the time my body needs to feed on the feeling of nothingness,

for gone is loneliness.

Left only is myself.

thats why I like to hit walls

for it becomes only me feeling weak, leaving my mind bleak, to everything else.

This poem is about: 
Me

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