I want to be loved

only to be disclaimed 

by the ones that were supposed to love you the most 

it's not exactly the best reason to boast 

you aren't the one who has the most to boast about 

in fact it's a miracle 

that you're still intact with all those slits on what's supposed to be beautiful 

in fact that's the exact reason you're in this perdicament 

one day you weren't first at everything anymore 

you just thought you were being magnanimous 

but really it was the devil being malicious 

he began eating at your soul that was once so whole 

and full of happiness 

it soon turned into self pity pulling harder as you resist what's pulling you into darkness 

where self inflicted pain was the only up to this terrible tragedy that you had become 

the way I loved that razor and the razor loved me 

leaving a kiss of pure pain and soon turn into bliss 

to only slip away in a few short seconds 

causing another sweet kiss from what was considered my lover for that time 

  TIME 

that until my time was gone 

and it was almost dawn as I finally stood up to clean the blood stained kisses 

that had numbed my already numbed body 

another sleepless night to add to the rest 

drifting off to sleep to only have to face this battle again tomorrow