lately

my thoughts have been

dark

what if i  just ended

it all? 

everything

feels so heavy...

a weight heavier than 

i've ever carried.

i am slowly being crushed

by my own mind.

my mind use to be

my paradise

my sanctuary

my safe place . 

now 

i dont feel safe

in my own thoughts.

boom 

boom 

boom

am i safe?

boom

boom

boom

how have i managed

to corrupt my mind?

boom

boom

boom

i just want to end it all,

but i hesitate.... why?

boom 

boom

boom

how did i let myself down?

i was not

taking care of the most

precious gift i have received...

my mind.

dear me, 

i am sorry. i am lost.

i  am tired and dont feel like

fighting anymore.

can i just lay down and rest?

forever?