She was luckier than most.

Most kids whose dads were like hers

Lost track of them for months,

Maybe years,

Maybe forever.

But to a girl

Whose life

Always included

the man in the flight suit

Whose name was Dad

Day By Day

Three months is no different

from six,

from twelve,

from forever.

 

So that last night

She crawled into the chair

next to Dad in the flight suit,

Tomorrow

he’d be gone

A last rock before eternity happened.

The television on

Light from a lighthouse

Pushing away the dark

Words blending together

Singing a lullaby.

Rock me, Daddy, Rock me Slow.

Rock me, Daddy, Never Let Go.

 

Three months actually did go by

Even though they had just started

and Dad in the flight suit came back

to a chair

Vacant

Still.

And three months actually did go by

and then four,

five,

six,

and then forever.

And she did not get in the chair

With Dad in the flight suit

Again.

She was big now,

and she could fall asleep

She had learned to rock

Herself

Devoid of his warmth

No lighthouse

Just a lullaby

Locked inside a motionless chair

She grew up

Even though she hadn’t tried.

Rock me, Daddy, Rock me Slow.

Rock me, Daddy, Never Let Go.

 

Years actually did go by

She stood on a field

An Elysium of uncertainty.

She had ten minutes

a blink

a quick breath

for “Good bye”

Until the summer was over

And she

would be

Almost

Like him.

That day

He cried

For the first time

Loss, pride mixed

crystalized

In his eyes.

She marched

And Dad in the flight suit

Wasn’t there anymore

Only his tears.

Rock me, Daddy, Rock me Slow.

Rock me, Daddy. Never Let Go.

 

Three months actually did go by

Even though they had just started

And the rocking of the chair

Morphed and twisted

And became the rocking of a ship.

The flight suit came out of the closet

Shut by images

of the pajama-clad girl

In the chair

And it fit her

and it turned blue

Like the skies that had

swallowed him

for three months

And it swallowed her

and three months actually did go by

and Dad in the flight suit had been there

Smile, Voice, Eyes

Every day

In the chair

The one she left behind

Grasping a fragile picture

The Daughter in the blue suit

Had not been there.

But still Dad in the flight suit had rocked

Rocked her

Front page

Running Light

His name, his voice, his eyes

Crystals fall from the sky

Day By Day

You rock,

You rock me,

I fall asleep

By your side.

The chair

Swayed as does the ship

And in his arms

She rocked

Her song had been heard

From miles away

Crystals casting reflections

in her mind

Materializing

She chases them

She runs

I will fly

I will fly for you

Into the skies that owned you

And fall from those skies

Into the seas

That own me.

Three months actually did go by

And the flight suit engulfs her

And she flies

And he watches

And she falls

And he holds her  

And they rock.

Rock Me, Daddy, three months by,

Rock Me, Daddy,

A lullaby,

Blue like the sky.

Rock Me, Daddy, crystal eyes…

Watching me fly.