I used to believe in this thing people called "love".
Until I felt true pain, no not getting hit by a boxing glove.
But the worst type of pain that's worse than all of the above.
It hurt so bad it's not something I often speak of.

When she left I lost emotion, I felt dead.
My knuckles were covered in scabs because of how much I bled.
I wish I didn't mean all those things I said.
I didn't know what to do, so I just laid in bed.
Punching walls wasn't enough and my anger wasn't fed.

So I tied up a rope and put it around my neck hoping that everything would end.
School and class wasn't something I wanted to attend.
and I didn't know how to act so it was something I had to pretend.
I vowed that I would never again have a girlfriend.

The day she left I didn't know what to do.
Because of how bad she hurt me, I knew "love" wasn't true.
My mom asked why I was on the floor, she didn't understand, so I didn't know who to talk to.
I told her I couldn't do it, she said "fight through".
Now I just remember the pain I felt that day every time I hear the words " I love you".

This is why I have trouble trusting anyone.
You can't fix me, the damage can't be undone.
So I forget about relationships and try to have fun.
You can't brake me, I'm awake; My schemes have just begun.

It's way too late for an apology.
I now have anger issues; Sometimes I feel like going on a killing spree.
Other times I feel like drowning someone in a sea.
Or punching a hole through a tree.
This may sound harsh, but this is how she made me.
I may be broken, but this is probably how it was meant to be.

- Alexis Antunez