I want you to know the last thing I heard was our song filtering out sirens

My razor carved into my skin, creating a great canyon faster than the Colorado River

I want you to know the last thing I saw was a paramedic with eyes that reminded me of yours

Blood stained the bathroom floor, making a Red Sea even Moses couldn’t make disappear

I want you to know the last thing I thought of was if you were sleeping soundly tonight

My mirror showed me dying, captured something no candid camera could see

I want you to know the last thing I felt was your ring resting on my collarbone

My mom screaming gave me a headache, confusing my brain with the lack of oxygen like it was in zero gravity

I want you to know the last thing I smelled was your perfume on my sweater

My chest stopped rising, collapsing in on itself unlike any World Trade Center

I want you to know the last thing I said was how much I loved you

The paramedic pumping my airways, fooling everyone like an amateur magician

I want you to know the last thing I remember was how much I wanted to stay for you

Depression gripped at my sanity, reminding me that was just a foreclosure now

I want you to know the last thing the paramedic wanted was to call you on the phone

Starting off with “I tried to resuscitate her…”, trailing off with me into unknown oblivion

I want you to know the last thing you understood was I committed suicide

Denial ate away at your stomach, staining your toilet with rejection of the truth

I want you to know the last thing your mother did was hold you close

Fighting at her arms, wishing they were mine

I want you to know the last thing your pillow felt was your nose burrowing into it

Giving in to exhaustion, hoping this was a nightmare

I want you to know the last thing you dreamt of was me telling you the truth

Explaining how you are my true love,

Confessing how I underestimated my opponent,

Apologizing for my weakness,

Begging for your forgiveness,

Telling you through tears,

“I wish they could have resuscitated me for you”