I was 12 when it crept in

Like a shy spider

My web of anxieties was spun

But I wasn't strong enough to cut it

 

Instead I tickled my wrists

And when they laughed too loudly

I traveled to my hips

Each mark a release of my worries

 

The scars started screaming

I couldn't look in a mirror

Or my little sister's eyes

Was risking death an adventure to see?

 

I didn't even know

But I bought my ticket

Front row

I was ready to go

 

The vodka bottle made things quiet

The cough syrup made things numb

But when I felt my body shutting down

I prayed to hold on

 

I wanted to look my sister in the eyes once more

And maybe another after that

I still hadn't eaten lunch

There was so much to do

 

Relax

Breathe

 

So much to live another moment for