Yes

my mum will miss me

yes

my bully will regret the choices they made

and yes

sucide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem 

And i know that

everyone and everybody has been shoving that information down my throat

ever since i learned what the word sucide meant

 

It like i cant die

without Finshing my shampoo and conditioner 

or until my favourite Netflix series has ended

because i dont want to miss out

but i want to die

Every time I tell someone I want to die

they come up with reasons why they want me here

Like they will miss me

i’m important to them

It just bad day, it get better

or they love me

but why tell me now

why didn’t you say it before

before i entered this dark empty hole 

 

Then i think of the opportunities i will miss

the sunsets i will miss

the weddings i will miss

the adventures

i dont want to miss them

Then i think of my friends 

the ones who truly love me for who i am

i think about how they would cope if i leave

and i cant bear the thought of it 

so i decided to stay for them.